HIST 3125 Columbus State University Role of Gymnasion in Life of Greek Polis Paper Remove plagiarism in the paper. Attached is the turtin report and the draft. If you read my comments on your essay, you will get a good sense of the paper’s issues.Professors comment What you submitted was essentially a draft, with track changes visible, red lettering, and entire paragraphs of text crossed out. You must understand that is not an acceptable submission for a final paper.If you simply made a mistake and submitted a draft paper by accident, essay 2
by Gaelle Gouet
Submission date: 01-Apr-2020 12:27AM (UTC-0400)
Submission ID: 1286761526
File name: 196776_Gaelle_Gouet_essay_2_2354334_1877191407.docx (37.49K)
Word count: 2109
Character count: 11121
P/V
Vague
Sp.
Support
Sp.
Vague
Thesis
Cap. Error
2
3
Vague
WC
4
Citation
Needed
Weak Transition
5
Weak Transition
6
7
8
Support
9
essay 2
ORIGINALITY REPORT
11
%
SIMILARITY INDEX
2%
1%
11%
INTERNET SOURCES
PUBLICATIONS
STUDENT PAPERS
PRIMARY SOURCES
1
2
3
9%
Submitted to York University
Student Paper
1%
aidstarone.com
Internet Source
1%
arts.studenttheses.ub.rug.nl
Internet Source
Exclude quotes
Off
Exclude bibliography
Off
Exclude matches
Off
essay 2
GRADEMARK REPORT
FINAL GRADE
GENERAL COMMENTS
43
Instructor
/100
Gaelle, this paper is a mess. Why did you submit a
paper with track changes visible? This is a draft more
than a formal paper. That being said, your paper is
replete with factual errors, you completely avoid the
ancient sources, and you cite the modern sources
incorrectly. It is almost impossible to follow your train of
thought, especially when the flow of your paper is
interrupted by entire paragraphs of crossed-out text.
This is not an acceptable submission for an upper year
student.
If you have any questions or concerns, please feel free
to email me.
PAGE 1
PAGE 2
QM
P/V
Passive voice:
Passive voice constructions do not tell your reader as much as the corresponding active version
would. For instance, in the phrase “it is understood,” a reader cannot know who or what is doing the
understanding. A more active version requires that you tell your reader who is performing the action:
“Students understand.” While there are rare occasions when a writer cannot avoid the passive voice,
the more informative active version is almost always a better choice. Changing passive constructions
to active always makes writing more lively and accessible.
QM
Vague
Unclear:
When making a point in one of your body paragraphs, one of the most common mistakes is to not
offer enough details. A paragraph without much detail will seem vague and sketchy. A paper is
always strengthened when your claims are as specific as possible, The more detailed evidence you
offer, the more reference points your reader will have. Remember that you are communicating your
argument to a reader who has only your description to go by. Someone who reads your essay will
not automatically know what you mean to express, so you have to supply details, to show the reader
what you mean, not just tell him or her.
QM
Sp.
Spelling error
Additional Comment
“the gymnasion was…”
or
“gymnasia were…”
QM
Support
Support Needed:
A well-written paper will include strong support for its thesis. Support for your thesis should come
from primary (original documents, interviews, and personal experiences) and secondary (information
that has been processed or interpreted by someone else) sources. To use your support effectively,
you must elaborate upon the information, quotations, and examples taken from your sources and
connect them to your thesis. It is also important to remember to cite the sources of the evidence and
support you use in your paper.
QM
Sp.
Spelling error
Additional Comment
were
QM
Vague
Unclear:
When making a point in one of your body paragraphs, one of the most common mistakes is to not
offer enough details. A paragraph without much detail will seem vague and sketchy. A paper is
always strengthened when your claims are as specific as possible, The more detailed evidence you
offer, the more reference points your reader will have. Remember that you are communicating your
argument to a reader who has only your description to go by. Someone who reads your essay will
not automatically know what you mean to express, so you have to supply details, to show the reader
what you mean, not just tell him or her.
Strikethrough.
QM
Thesis
Thesis needs work:
The thesis is the central idea of your paper around which all your evidence and claims are organized.
Every single paragraph should be dedicated in a clear way to proving your thesis. In your essay, the
thesis should be stated as quickly and as clearly as possible. In fact, many teachers will expect your
thesis statement to appear in the last sentence of your essay’s first paragraph. A vivid thesis
statement will announce the steps of its argument, not just provide a flat statement of the essay’s
ultimate goal. Think of the thesis as a roadmap that gives directions to your reader rather than as a
picture of your final destination.
QM
Cap. Error
Capitalization
Comment 2
This is incorrect! The gymnasion complex = gymnasion (outdoor structures) and palaistra (indoor
structure).
The Akademy and Lykeion were two separate educational gymansia located in Athens.
PAGE 3
Comment 3
This is also untrue.
QM
Vague
Unclear:
When making a point in one of your body paragraphs, one of the most common mistakes is to not
offer enough details. A paragraph without much detail will seem vague and sketchy. A paper is
always strengthened when your claims are as specific as possible, The more detailed evidence you
offer, the more reference points your reader will have. Remember that you are communicating your
argument to a reader who has only your description to go by. Someone who reads your essay will
not automatically know what you mean to express, so you have to supply details, to show the reader
what you mean, not just tell him or her.
QM
WC
Word choice error:
Sometimes choosing the correct word to express exactly what you have to say is very difficult to do.
Word choice errors can be the result of not paying attention to the word or trying too hard to come up
with a fancier word when a simple one is appropriate. A thesaurus can be a handy tool when you’re
trying to find a word that’s similar to, but more accurate than, the one you’re looking up. However, it
can often introduce more problems if you use a word thinking it has exactly the same meaning.
PAGE 4
Comment 4
Why have you included your M.S. Word edits in your final submission? Did you accidently submit the
Why have you included your M.S. Word edits in your final submission? Did you accidently submit the
wrong paper?
QM
Citation Needed
Cite Source:
Please use the link below to find links to information regarding specific citation styles:
http://www.plagiarism.org/plag_article_citation_styles.html
QM
Weak Transition
Weak paragraph transition:
Although paragraphs are separate, individual steps of your paper, it is important to clearly
demonstrate a logical connection between them. Generally speaking, the way your paragraphs
relate to one another displays how sound your argument really is. A paragraph that begins with “also”
or “in addition” offers a weak transition from the previous point, even though it may develop a highly
interesting and related point.
Comment 5
Wrong time period! The period in question predates the Ottoman empire by several centuries.
QM
Weak Transition
Weak paragraph transition:
Although paragraphs are separate, individual steps of your paper, it is important to clearly
demonstrate a logical connection between them. Generally speaking, the way your paragraphs
relate to one another displays how sound your argument really is. A paragraph that begins with “also”
or “in addition” offers a weak transition from the previous point, even though it may develop a highly
interesting and related point.
Comment 6
Why is this here?
Comment 7
vague
Comment 8
Where is your evidence?
PAGE 5
QM
Support
Support Needed:
A well-written paper will include strong support for its thesis. Support for your thesis should come
from primary (original documents, interviews, and personal experiences) and secondary (information
that has been processed or interpreted by someone else) sources. To use your support effectively,
you must elaborate upon the information, quotations, and examples taken from your sources and
connect them to your thesis. It is also important to remember to cite the sources of the evidence and
support you use in your paper.
Additional Comment
Where is your evidence? This claim is entirely baseless!
PAGE 6
PAGE 7
Comment 9
?????????
PAGE 8
PAGE 9
PAGE 10
RUBRIC: HIST 3125 ESSAY RUBRIC
CRITERION 1
Rarely
Has a clear and consistent argument that answers the question
ALWAYS
OFTEN
SOMETIMES
RARELY
NEVER
CRITERION 2
Never
Shows control of the essay form, including the introduction, conclusion, and use of quotations
ALWAYS
OFTEN
SOMETIMES
RARELY
NEVER
CRITERION 3
Never
Constructs an argument based on the ancient sources
ALWAYS
OFTEN
SOMETIMES
RARELY
NEVER
CRITERION 4
Engages critically with the ancient sources and modern scholarship
ALWAYS
OFTEN
SOMETIMES
RARELY
Never
NEVER
CRITERION 5
Sometimes
Writes in a distinctive voice, showing originality of thought and flair
ALWAYS
OFTEN
SOMETIMES
RARELY
NEVER
CRITERION 6
Sometimes
Writes in clear and correct English
ALWAYS
OFTEN
SOMETIMES
RARELY
NEVER
CRITERION 7
Cites evidence correctly
ALWAYS
OFTEN
SOMETIMES
RARELY
NEVER
Never
ROLE OF THE GYMNASION IN THE LIFE OF THE GREEK POLIS
Role of the Gymnasion in the Life of the Greek Polis
HIST 3125
March 26th, 2020
1
ROLE OF THE GYMNASION IN THE LIFE OF THE GREEK POLIS
2
Role of the Gymnasion in the life of the Greek Polis
Undeniably regarded as a significant entity amongst Greek Polis life, the Gymnasion was a
Greek building initially used for athletic activities which subsequently evolved into a space of
philosophical discussion and study. The words ‘Gymnasion’ and ‘Gymnasium’ are derived from
the Greek word gymnos, which means “nudity”, as all males were required to perform sporting
activities and exercises while nude. (Miller, 2004). Due to the cultural significance of proathletics amongst the Greek Polis, Gymnasia was highly standardized during the Hellenistic
Period because they were regarded as important to the general and physical education of young
men. Through their development, Gymnasiums began to include men of all ages and quickly
flourished into social establishments that placed significant importance on higher education and
learning (Miller, 2004). For this reason, Gymnasia evolved into an essential feature across the
Greek Polis and was later adopted by the Romans due to their societal and cultural impact.
Furthermore, due to their influence, Gymnasia was no longer only found at famous sporting sites
and sanctuaries, but instead, the Gymnasium became a common institution within ordinary cities
across the Greek Polis (Miller, 2004). Due to the historical reality of the Gymnasium, they have
undeniably played an essential role within the life of Greek people because they functioned not
only as an institution that prioritized sporting activities but also one that promoted philosophical
thought and study.
The Gymnasion played a significant role in the development of physical education and
activity amongst Greek people. The Gymnasium contained two buildings, Akademy and
Lykeion, which were training grounds where young male athletes prepared for competitions
(Miller, 2004). However, not all athletes could train or study in the Palaistrai-gymnasia, as not all
ROLE OF THE GYMNASION IN THE LIFE OF THE GREEK POLIS
3
males were athletes. Instead, Akademy and Lykeion served as the training grounds for all young
Greek men where every aspect of the male person was considered. For this reason, successful
athletes, playwrights, philosophers, and politicians came from the playing fields of Akademy and
Lykeion because this is where young minds and legs were prepared for a variety of competitions.
In fact, these two playing fields were the locations where Aristotle, Plato, and many more
philosophers before they engaged with other young men while examining the human experience.
As such, while it is understood that the terms “Aristotle’s Lykeion” and “Plato’s Akademy” have
come to represent distinct philosophical schools, they were still analyzed and formed in the
Gymnasium and hold no inherent justification that one must separate activities of the mind from
that of the body.
Another educational training activity that was offered in the Gymnasion was the ephebeia.
The ephebeia was a two-year training program practiced in most cities that was required for a
young man to become a citizen (Miller, 2004). While the training took place across most of the
Greek Polis, most of the evidence regarding young men exercising for them to become a citizen
has been found in Athens. Before a young man was recruited for training at the Gymnasion, they
were required to be eighteen years old. Once this two-year training period commenced, the
young men were then enlisted into active military services. Epheboi and young men were
organized based on their father’s membership according to the ten tribes of Athens. As a result,
each year all the tribes were tasked with the responsibility of selecting a man who was at least
forty years old to be a teacher and trainer for the sophronistes of their epheboi. The person
chosen was supposed to be considered a master sergeant and they were tasked with the
responsibility of organizing the training of these troops by ways of conventional means.
Furthermore, a year of this program was supervised by a distinct official known as
ROLE OF THE GYMNASION IN THE LIFE OF THE GREEK POLIS
4
the kosmetes who was tasked with the responsibility of organizing tours of shrines and temples
throughout Attika in order to enable the epheboi to grasp various important concepts of the
country’s heritage (Christesen, 2007). While it has not been historically proven, visiting shrines
and temples was considered to be essential because it emphasized the need for Greek people to
be literate, as, during this training, every young man was tested in order to determine his ability
to read and write. Furthermore, studies have shown that the epheboi were required to attend
lectures in the Gymnasion where they listened to the arguments and debates of philosophers in
Akademy as well as Lykeion.
Furthermore, the Gymnasion required the Greek Polis to offer two paidotribai who were
tasked with the responsibility of governing the activities and exercises of the epheboi. Given this,
Gymnasia was essential because they enabled young men to become future military personnel
who were then able to protect the Greek polis against attacks. Through this, while in the
Gymnasium, these men were taught infantry drills, as well as how to use a spear, petasos, and a
shield. After the first year of training, the epheboi were issued their own spear, chamys, petasos,
and shield in order to patrol the Greek Polis border (Miller, 2004). After several years of
training, when the epheboi were exceptionally talented, the Greek Polis would congratulate them
and their trainers by praising the groups for their philotimia as well as their pride and
determination towards the city. Given this, the training of these young men not only enabled the
Greek Polis to cultivate established and skilled individuals but also allowed them to aid in the
development of citizens who were needed in order to secure their borders against attacks from
other empires, such as the Ottoman empire.
ROLE OF THE GYMNASION IN THE LIFE OF THE GREEK POLIS
5
The building was also essential to the Greek Polis because it strengthened the Greek
culture, thereby unifying people through sports activities that were taking place in cities. The
Gymnasion where athletic training was taking place could have been meaningless when people
were not there (Golden & Mark, 1998). Since a Greek Polis encompassed people from distinct
cultural backgrounds, when they are being trained at the Gymnasion, they are all unified under
one culture. Those who are trained and those who are after getting training were all living in the
same building and interact daily. For that reason, it was easy for people to understand the way
and life of others through interaction. Besides, it also created a bond in people who were getting
training because training entailed male individuals who had attained the age of 18 years and they
were to be trained for two years (Christesen, 2007). This period was enough for the trainees to
get to know their colleagues better, thereby unifying the group being trained. Finally, the
Gymnasium also brought together people from different cultural and social backgrounds to the
Greek Polis who were coming to watch the performance.
The Gymnasion made Greek Polis entertainment places during the Roman and
Hellenistic periods. The games that were played in the Gymnasiums were not only staged to
entertain soldiers but also common Greek people because the games were not only staged by
soldiers but also by young trained men aged 18 years and above (Golden & Mark, 1998). Both
soldiers and young trained men collaborated and entertained guests who had travelled long
distances to watch performances in the Gymnasiums. The most prevalent form of sports at the
time was acrobats. It was a representation of tumblers doing somersaults and handstands, which
was in most cases, presented or done b children’s entertainment. While no evidence can show
that such sports were played at the time, extraordinary evidence is in the form of curios pseudoPanathenaic amphora. The game entailed small male participants doing a pole or climbing a pole
ROLE OF THE GYMNASION IN THE LIFE OF THE GREEK POLIS
6
vault with the activity-taking place next to a large horse when a rider is looking over the shoulder
of the participants at the center of the frame where the figure seems to be leaping to the rump of
a horse (Miller, 2004). In the same act, a small figure was also found beneath a horse wields
where the jumper is wearing a helmet, and they carry a pinwheel decorated shield on their arms.
A flute player stands next to the smaller participant beneath the horse where the player offers
accompaniment for a shield-wielding jumper. As such, watching all the processes that take place
when acrobatics was going on were numerous spectators who were sitting on the bleachers
where they were gesturing and looking at the jumper (Christesen, 2007). For that reason, all
activities that were taking place were astonishing and wowed the spectators. At the time, people
travelled to Greek polis where they were treated with entertainment from acrobats in
Gymnasiums. The atmosphere at the Gymnasium conjured up the images of the circus where
distinct stunts were undertaken at the same time.
Gymnasium also helped make Greek police entertainment places where children also had
their form of amusement and games (Golden & Mark, 1998). For instance, juggling is portrayed
to be an activity for boys and women. Swings and teeter-totters that seem to have identical
settings was a game that was frequently shown being hoop rolling. The game was played on the
streets and doctors recommended the game to be a healthy exercise that can be performed by
children. Since hoops were made of bronze and iron with studs at distinct intervals around the
hoop’s edge, the loud sound that was made by the hoop enabled parents to identify and locate
their children easily. In brief, the toys that were made at the time made it easier for children to
play with each other; hence, making them a form of entertainment.
The Gymnasium was also essential to the life of the Greek people because it hosted
numerous educational activities. The building played a significant role because it hosted studies,
ROLE OF THE GYMNASION IN THE LIFE OF THE GREEK POLIS
7
as well as key philosophical discussions that were led by Aristotle and Plato (Miller, 2004). The
two philosophers through discussion in the building developed philosophies based on the life of
the people by interacting with participants who were taking part in the training. As such, by
studying and analyzing responses that young and older…
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