Rasmussen College Sales and Marketing Discussion In a 2-3 page document using the document below, create a job
description for a fictitious employee that includes the following:
Brief description of the organization. The
organization can be what is created for this exercise or an organization
that you are familiar with.
Describe the position the employee will
hold within an organization.
Ideas of benefits and compensation that
may be considered for the exercise.
Sources should be cited in APA format. NEURO-LINGUISTIC PROGRAMMING
6.
CONFLICT
RESOLUTION,
METAPHORS,
ADVANCED TOTE MODELS
6.1. CONFLICT RESOLUTION (CONGRUENCE-INCONGRUENCE)
Incongruence occurs when our channels are not saying the same thing, when we are in
conflict at some level. I am saying “I love you” with a harsh tone of voice. Likewise, when
the verbal and non-verbal messages coincide, it is said that there is congruence. My
words are saying “I love you” and I am saying it with a warm tone and smiling eyes.
Communication is congruent if there is a correspondence between oral communication
and body language, that is when our words, tone, gestures, body language, eye gaze,
facial expressions all send the same message.
Considering that incongruence means that an individual has sent two opposing
messages through two different channels, the first thing we should do is to recognise
the incongruence.
An example of incongruence would be expressing verbally happiness and joy, but nonverbally showing sadness, fatigue or anxiety.
§
Meta-comments: this is a technique used to deal with incongruence. We need
to start from emphasizing that for NLP, both messages, although incongruent, are real
and express something. In addition, this position is very important to maintain rapport
with the person. So, the new proposed behaviour has to agree with the incongruent
messages.
In short, to work on the incongruence we needed to:
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– Acknowledge that the two messages are real and that each message corresponds
to a different objective.
– Remember that each message should be accompanied so as to obtain
cooperation through a negotiation that leads to a new behaviour, thus satisfying
the two objectives of the person.
§
Types of incongruence:
–
Simultaneous: the conflicting messages are given at the same time.
–
Sequential: the conflicting messages are given one after the other.
We need to bear in mind that people who are experiencing incongruence feel confused
or at odds so we need to create an accompaniment and sensitivity towards the
incongruence and ambiguity, and generate an appropriate flexibility of behaviour.
6.1.1. The accompaniment of incongruence
The accompaniment of incongruence is especially important because it helps to keep
the rapport with the other person who participates in the negotiation.
– Accompaniment of the sequential incongruence: facing sequential
incongruence, the programmer responds with the same type of incongruence.
Example: “I am very happy with this situation!” (Positive verbal communication,
VC +), and then he looks at the floor, with a serious facial expression and a faint
tone of voice (negative non-verbal communication, NVC-). We should respond:
“Good, I’m very happy for you!” (VC +), covering our mouths and looking at the
ground with a slouching posture (NVC-).
– Accompaniment of the simultaneous incongruence: the subject presents both
messages in an incongruent and simultaneous way. Example: “Today I have had
a great day, thank you!” (VC +), and at the same time frowns and looks at the
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ground (NVC-). The programmer should respond in the same way, that is, with a
simultaneous incongruence. Example: “I am very happy to hear that!” (VC +) and
at the same time he/she tightens the eyelids and frowns (NVC-).
– Inverse accompaniment of the simultaneous incongruence: in this case, the
person expresses their thoughts through a simultaneous incongruence, and then
the programmer will respond with another simultaneous incongruence but with
a change of the messages of the channel. Example: the subject states: “The most
important thing to me is to get promoted” (VC +), while saying it, his head is
hanging down and he does not look into the eyes (NVC-). The programmer
responds, “I do not agree with that statement.” (VC-), while making an
affirmative movement with the head (NVC +).
ü This technique can help the subject to become unconsciously aware of the
incongruence, and can also clarify a response pattern for the following
interventions.
– BUT: sequential incongruence. Fritz Perls called the “but” the universal draft. In
every sentence in which a “but” is incorporated in the centre, a change in the
meaning occurs, since the phrase after the “but” substitutes the content of the
phrase before the “but”. If we substitute a “but” for an “and” or any conjunction
that has the same functions, we will change the meaning of the phrase, and both
sides of the conflict will be recognized and accepted.
6.1.2. Polarity: detection and integration
Conflict is part and parcel of worldly life because opposition exists in everything we do.
It is only natural that human beings sometimes feel “incongruence” in some aspects of
their lives. We are often in two minds about some issues and this polarity results in
conflicts between verbal and non-verbal messages.
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§
Polarity integration:
– Identify incongruences through the detection of contradictions between the
verbal and non-verbal messages.
– Classify these incongruences into polarities using, for example: classifications,
categories, symbols, representational systems, etc.
– Generate a contact point between the polarities creating a meta-position, that
is, a third perceptual position, through which a new vision or point of view of
analysis will be focused on.
Practice: Identify a polarity
We will see now how the Guide helps the Explorer to identify a polarity:
– The Guide should ask the Explorer to reflect on some aspects that the Explorer
is ambivalent about, something that is causing an internal conflict. Example: “I
should be more assertive with my classmates, but I’m not”, “I should go to the
gym more often, but I’m not going”.
– The Guide should accompany the Explorer by evoking, accessing and
identifying each part of the polarity through techniques such as accessing
the past, exaggeration, etc. Once it is done, each part needs to be anchored
with postures or gestures: it is advisable to use the ones which are habitual
for the Explorer.
Aspects to be considered:
ü The two polarity parts must be accessed, reaching the same extreme level of
depth.
ü You have to evoke each opposing party in positive terms.
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ü It is necessary to highlight the advantages and positive intentions of each of the
parts. The disadvantages of each part need to be turned into advantages.
ü Anchoring: each of the polarity parts will be anchored with gestures and postures
that are natural for the Explorer.
ü Once a positive description of each polarity has been achieved (positive result,
meta-results, meta-objectives), that is, what each party wants to achieve for the
subject, it can be said that the exercise has ended.
ü As can be seen, the main objective of this exercise is to guide the subject towards
the positive objectives of each part of the polarity to help him to withdraw from
the conflicting or problematic behaviours.
6.1.3. Limiting reframing of limiting experiences
“There is nothing either good or bad but thinking makes it so.”
William Shakespeare
Mankind has always tried to find meaning. Things happen but until people give them a
meaning, relate them to the rest of their lives and evaluate the consequences, they are
not important. We learn the meaning of events through education and culture
(O’Connor and Seymour, 2007: 186-187).
The meaning of any event depends on the frame in which it is placed, and as a
consequence, when the frame changes, the meaning also changes, along with the
responses and behaviour. The ability to reframe provides great freedom and flexibility.
If a tennis player injures his right wrist it may put an end to his professional career.
However, a person who reframes this accident as an opportunity and not a limitation
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can change this terrifying, frustrating and limiting event into an opportunity to grow and
learn from physicians about anatomy, physiology, traumatology and rehabilitation
(O’Connor and Seymour, 2007: 186-187).
“When a grain of sand enters the interior of an oyster and
assaults it, the oyster segregates nacre to defend itself, and as
a result creates a brilliant and precious jewel.”
Resilience (Anna Forés)
§
Types of reframing
–
Context reframe: it deals with changing a negative internal response to certain
behaviour, emphasizing the usefulness of this behaviour in other contexts.
Redefining the context of a situation implies changing the conceptual point of
view of an event or emotional experience that affects a certain situation;
changing the frame produces a change in meaning. Example: “I am very calm
when carrying out tasks and sometimes I do not reach the objectives that they
ask me for”. To do the reframing we could ask: ”In which situations does being
calm bring you benefits?”.
–
Meaning reframe: the meaning of any situation or event depends directly on the
frame from which it is observed. When the frame changes, the meaning will also
change and, as a consequence, the emotions and behaviour associated with it
will change.
–
Example: “My boss has always had it in for me. He does not praise me for my
achievements, and does not explain to me the mistakes I make”.
–
Reframing: “It is possible that your boss trusts you a lot and this is why he
gives you more freedom and he also belives that you do not need specific
instructions at this time”.
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Reframe!
Complete the table with different conflicting situations in your life that you would like
to reframe. Look for opportunities that those situations may give you.
CONFLICTING SITUATION
They have promoted me, but the team I
have to manage is rebellious, they ignore
my instructions, they question my
abilities and they do not trust me.
REFRAMING
It is an opportunity to learn techniques of
personnel management, empathy,
leadership, assertive communication, and
to prove to myself that I can reach out to
my team members and be a good leader.
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§
O’Connor and Seymour: apply your wit through oral models.
Observe different examples of different points of view:
“I am not doing well at work and I feel depressed”
Generalize: You may feel depressed about everything, and work is not going well.
Apply to yourself: You may feel depressed when you think about that.
Introduce values and criteria: With what important aspect are you struggling at work?
Positive goal: Maybe overcoming this problem at work will help you to learn and
improve yourself.
Change the goal: Maybe you need to change jobs.
Set a more distant goal: Can you learn something useful from the way your job is now?
Redefine: Your depression may mean that you feel bad, because they demand irrational
things.
Analyse (descend): What parts of the work go wrong?
Synthesize (ascend): How are things going in general?
Counterexamples: Has your work gone wrong at some time without you feeling
depressed?
Positive intention: This means that you care about your work.
Temporal framing: It is only temporary; it will pass.
Context reframe
Think of two people, A and B. A complains following the pattern: “I’m tired of always
doing the same thing, I’m too dumb”.
1. A is asked to make a clear picture of the complaint.
2. In which contexts does A’s complaint work: Is there a context in which that behaviour
is more appropriate?
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3. Reflect on the different options in which a new interpretation could be presented
and choose the most appropriate, optimal and ecological.
4. A is offered the reframing; it is necessary to calibrate the physiological reactions.
5. In the event that there is no emotional change, the complaint needs to be reframed
until it becomes positive.
Meaning reframe
1. The other person is asked to make a clear picture of the content of their complaint
while experiencing the consequent emotions of the complaint.
2. Questioning: Is there a frame in which this behaviour can bring positive
consequences? What is the aspect that does not reach the subject’s consciousness?
Is it possible to make a different description of the same event?
3. Reflect on the different options in which you could present the new interpretation
and choose the most appropriate one.
4. Now suggest the reframing, and observe the physiological reactions.
5. In case there is no emotional change, try reframing with another meaning.
For further details refer to Introduction to NLP (O’Connor and Seymour, 2007, pages 186
to 197).
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6.1.4. Resolution of external conflicts
§
Conditional agreement
Example of a conflict resolution: the objective is to reach an agreement between two or
more people on a specific topic.
Two people, A (executor) and B
1. Think of a situation in which you have to present proposals, projects, ideas,
suggestions, etc.
2. A makes the proposal to B.
3. B raises an objection concerning X topic. For example: “it is too expensive”.
4. A will recapitulate the objection as well as the positive intention, until reaching
a verbal and non-verbal acceptance of this recapitulation.
Example: “I see that he perceives the project as very expensive in terms of
resources and human capital. He worries that the expenses are high, but he
definitely has other needs and does not want to increase his debts.”
5. A proposes a conditional agreement.
Example: “If I tell you that your expenses in the form of debts will not increase so
much, would you be interested in the project?”
6. Alternatives should be sought until subject B fully agrees. He should be
convinced and sure about his decision.
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§
Structure of concordance
Through the use of meta-objectives, a conditional agreement that is acceptable to two
or more people in the communicative situation should be reached. In the following
exercise we will carry out an example of negotiation with the structure of concordance
technique.
1. A and B need to specify the context in which the negotiation will take place.
2. Inquiring about what will be the desired objective of A and recapitulating; the
same will be done with B.
A and B (inquiring about desired objective): What is your wish?
A and B (recapitulating): “Ok, then what you would like to achieve is…”
3. Identifying the meta-objective of A and recapitulating, then keep asking until a
meta-objective on which B also agrees is reached.
4. Calibrating: the calibration exercise in the negotiation is important, as well as
changing the perceptual positions to analyse the situation from different points
of view and emotional distance.
5. Inquiring about what they want, what they want to achieve:
“If A gets X and B gets Y, they can come to an agreement.”
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SELLING WITH NLP
1. Presupposition, harmony, empathy, rapport, honesty,
calibrating: TRUST.
2. Discovering basic need by asking: what is it?
3. Show VAK sensory channels (personalized to the
customer) of the product (aimed at satisfying the
customer’s basic needs): what will they feel (smell,
taste), what will they hear, what will they see.
4. Objection Management.
5. Conditional agreement.
6. Closing the sale: asking directly if the client is going to
enjoy the benefits of the product.
6.2. METAPHORS
Metaphor is a rhetorical figure that identifies something real (R) with something
imaginary or evoked (I), both existing in a relation of similarity.
Example: “Your hair (R) is gold (I)”.
Etymologically, the word comes from the Greek meta (outside or beyond) and pherein
(move).
Robert Dilts (1976) defines a metaphor as “a figure of language in which something is
spoken of as if it were another”. Milton Erickson, who was studied in depth by Grinder
and Bandler, was a specialist in metaphor and change. The techniques he used were so
successful that they were extrapolated to the world of business and sales.
The word metaphor is used in NLP in a general way to cover any story or figure of
language that implies a comparison. This includes simple comparisons or similes, but
also allegories, stories and parables (O’Connor and Seymour, 2007: 180).
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O’Connor et al. (2007) explain that metaphors communicate indirectly. Simple
metaphors make simple comparisons, for instance “as white as sheet” and quickly
become clichés. However, they clarify unknown concepts by relating them to something
that is already known. On the other hand, complex metaphors are stories with many
levels of meaning. Explaining a story elegantly can distract the conscious mind and also
trigger an unconscious search for resources and meanings. In addition, it is an excellent
way to communicate with someone in a trance.
As described by O’Connor et al. (2007), the unconscious appreciates relationships.
Dreams use metaphor and imagination; one thing stands for the other as they have
common features. To create an effective metaphor, that is, one that leads to the
resolution of a problem, the relationship between the elements of the story needs to be
the same as the one between the elements of the problem, since in this way the
metaphor will resonate in the unconscious, and from there it will activate the resources.
§
How to create a metaphor?
ü
Gather the necessary information: the characters, the protagonist, the problem,
the dynamics and possible solutions.
ü
Define the results: follow the instructions on how to formulate objectives.
Identify the present state and the desired state that one wants to reach.
ü
Choose the topic of metaphor: you should move away from the real topic, that
is, it should not resemble reality, although you should choose a topic with which the
subject will feel comfortable.
ü
Define the elements you should have: each element of real life you want to
illustrate needs to correspond to the element of the metaphor.
ü
Define an unexpected twist in the narrative in order to attract the attention of
the subject. If the subject is surprised by something that is not expected, it leaves them
in a trance state in which the subconscious opens up to new, more creative options.
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ü
Use abstract language: words such as communication, thought, relationships,
elements, emotions, reflection, speech, etc. On the other hand, it is not necessary to
clarify the time in which the action happens.
ü
Use hidden instructions: the speech of the characters, those instructions that you
want the listeners to get. Example: “and so the master told him: now you have the power
to face the battle”.
ü
Enhance the narrative: it is advisable to use embellished language that can
appeal to all sensory channels as well as interpretive gestures that evoke drama.
ü
Meaning: give the subconscious time to recognize what the meaning is. Establish
feedback with the subject.
§
Types of metaphors
–
Accompanying metaphors: they are used to change a behaviour or a certain
emotional state. It is about responding in a communicative context using a metaphor
instead of repeating something. Its main objective is to emphasize or to establish
rapport with a person.
–
Metaphors of change: they involve a change-oriented response. As their name
suggests, they are aimed at bringing about a change.
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6.3. LOGICAL LEVELS AND NEUROLOGICAL LEVELS
Robert Dilts, inspired by Bateson’s model of logical levels, created the model of
neurological levels. The objective of this model is to help people make changes that can
improve their situation. According to Dilts, human beings organize their thoughts about
the world, meanings and responses to these meanings at different levels of abstraction.
The distinction of these different levels is crucial when going through the processes of
change, learning and communication.
The…
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